Your life is yours to create
Take back your power and start writing your own story
When you are born, you have a blank canvas. A new life.
We are not in control of our early childhood years and once we slowly start gaining control we want more and more of it as children. So think back, If you could rewind and go back to the childhood version of you, your circumstances, where you stood at a specific moment. Would you be happy with the life you have created for yourself now? Would it resonate with everything you believe in? Have the choices you made until now made an impact in the person you have become?
I ask myself these questions all the time. If 7 year old me thought I was capable of doing all the things I wanted to do, why am I not doing currently doing them? Am I working towards them? Am I doing the things that I truly want to be doing? Harsh reality is, for a short while I wasn’t. I had given up on everything I wanted to become and started molding into what was the norm and what was "acceptable" by others. In return, the reward wasn’t high. The fulfillment wasn’t all there. The feeling that I could be doing more was daunting on me. I decided to stop, re-shift and refocus; This time I wouldn’t t let time, circumstances, and definitely not people steer me away from what I really wanted out of life.
With this blog post I want to make it clear that it is not your surroundings who dictate your choices. It is not your parents, your siblings, your significant others or your friends.
When you give them the power to have a say over your choices they are now in control of your actions. As a matter of fact, if I would’ve given anyone around me a say in what I am doing right now they wouldn’t have even understood the concept to begin with, let alone think it could be done.
Don’t limit your potential to what others believe is “possible”. Others are not you. When you refocus into what truly makes you happy in life, you will start heavily pursuing it. When you realize that when times get hard "others" won't come to make it any easier. If it is solely the happiness of those around you what you are looking for, you will pour so much into others that you will be empty yourself.
In my personal journey I am truly fulfilled by pouring into others. To be able to successfully do that, I must make sure my cup is full before I try and fill someone else’s. I work on myself first by looking for and learning all the tools available to then grasp what is necessary and pour It back into those around me. If I was constantly focused on giving and giving but not focused on how I can become better, then I wouldn’t have much to give out in the first place.
I have come to terms with the fact that if I want to make those around me happy; I have to first find happiness myself first.
Throughout the years so much or so little can happen. I don’t know if this is the answer you were looking for but its the one I have. The outcome of our life is ultimately up to us. Just us. Only us. There wont be anyone coming to do the work for you. If we settle for what we don’t want, we will always have what we don’t want. If we don’t do things differently, we will never have different results. When 5 years pass by and we do the same things every day, nothing will change in the next 5 years. History will repeat itself. Things around us only change when we step out into the unknown, when we go for what we want and don’t stop until we get it. So many of us get comfortable with mediocracy. Why? We live in a world where there is so much to experience, and we have this life to live it. It might be uncomfortable to do things different, and it might be scary to step out into the unknown. But what more terrifying thought that a life not well lived?
Comfort is the enemy of growth, achievement and progress. I don’t want to be comfortable because being comfortable means I have settled with what I have. Settling is not an option because life is always changing. By settling, I not only limit my possibilities but I take away all i could’ve provided for everyone thereafter. Thats just selfish.
As time passes, things will always be different, changing, evolving but some things will also always remain the same. That’s only because we have people who will always aim for progress, resulting in different results, innovation and success. We also have people who repeat the same cycle generation after generation. So its not really the things around us that change or stay the same, we are the ones who decided to change or stay the same.
Although some of the things that happen to us are not necessarily ideal. We didn’t ask for them, we didn’t expect them, and we certainly didn’t plan them. There are some things that are completely out of our control. This can be applied to your day to day routine, expect the unexpected. Once we accept and re-shift how we react to what is out of our control, we can work towards the things that are within our control. Focus on what you CAN do and not what you CANT do. We don’t get to choose what family we are born into, we don’t choose who our parents are going to be and we don’t choose the way we are brought up. We don’t choose to live in poverty at 5 years old and we don’t choose to be wealthy as a child neither. After asking and asking over time I have understood that sometimes bad things happen to good people, but good things also happen to good people and bad things, guesss what? They also happen to bad people.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is, don’t make excuses as to why something is happening to you and not for you. It’s not what happens to us that we have control over. It’s what we take from these situations that shape who we are. I like to look at all of my struggles as a privilege. Limited acquired experience. I don’t use my struggles to excuse why I can't do something, why I’m not good enough, qualified enough, or not capable of doing the things that will give me what I desire. I use my struggles to give me all the motivation and fuel I need to make sure im working towards securing the cycle doesn’t repeat itself for those who come after me. Its clear to me what I don’t want out of life, therefore I know I must do something to move away from everything that makes it blurry and shift my habits towards the life I am creating for myself.
We hear this often, but the exact same circumstances that shape a person’s life to make them strive for greatness can make another person crumble and become a victim of their situation. Simply put, You have two people at different ends of the spectrum. One became a millionaire out of his struggles, one is homeless because of his struggles. One let his struggles work for him, and one let his struggles work against him. One has always been wealthy and throughout time has maintained his wealth. One was born wealthy, lost is all and is now homeless. Do you see what Im getting at? It is not what you are given or what you currently have that decides your path and your future. Some of the most privileged people throw it all away, and some of the least privileged people build an empire from difficult paths..
Once you understand that, you, with what you have right now, are capable of creating the life you want for yourself. You will stop supporting the habits that don't encourage that and you will work for it every single day without self limitations.
Sometimes its easy to blame our circumstances and not our actions. When you accept full control over your life, your choices, and your future, you will let go of everything that held you back until now. Don’t be a victim of your circumstances. We should only be victims of our own choices and decisions because that’s the only thing we are in full control over. We are not in control of what others do to us and how others act or react towards us. If you have ever felt a victim because of the actions of others towards you, let that go. let them go and stop using “that happened to me” and turn it into “ that happened for me”. It happened to teach you, to shape you, to help you turn into the person you need to become.
Ever since I was young I always knew the type of woman I wanted to be. I envisioned her clearly. What wasn’t clear to me was how I was going to become her. What decisions I had to make in my life day by day to help me create her. How will I have to react to adversity surrounding me to create this life. How despite what life had for me, I wouldn't let it stop me from getting where I was meant to be. How many bumps in the road, how many moments of hitting rock bottom, how many successes and how many celebrations it was going to take to build my character to reflect this person I wanted to be. My circumstances weren’t always ideal. For most of us they are not. Ive never had something leave my life and not be replaced by something better. That gave me all the knowledge I needed to know to learn to let go and start over as many times as I needed to.
It was frustrating to see those around me react to situations I had no control over in ways I would never. I had to accept those were their actions and not mine, as hard as it was. I would always watch and I would think to myself how I would’ve handled this if it was me. How different the outcome would be for so many if certain things were handled differently. I learned how to act and how to react in a way that would say a lot more about my character than the circumstance presented.
So you decide..
Is life working for you? Or against you?
Neither of them are solid, its your perception that will change the path of your life from rock bottom to sky high.