21 and HOME
21 and HOME
"Your 20's are your selfish years" uh actually not for us.
As a mother, one of the main things we give up is our freedom. As a young mother, it weighs that much more because all your friends are “living their best life.”
Meanwhile, you’re learning about life with a new baby and (for most of us) a new body (and everything that comes with it)..everyone’s unwanted opinions on how to raise your child because since you’re young you don’t have common sense... ha(rolls eyes) and most importantly this new found sense of caring for a little tiny human that you care about more than your own self. (As any good mother should.)
I’m not ashamed to say, one of the biggest hurdles I deal with as a young mom is wanting to go out and not being able to. Maybe it’s the fact that I know I can’t most of the time that makes me want to even more (since we all want what we can’t have) or Maybe it’s the fact that my friends outings look so much more exciting on social media.
As a young mom, and as a nursing student, I have responsibilities. I can’t just say oh well today I’m going to do this. My life revolves around studying, clinical hours, work and the baby.
I’ve learned to deal with responsibilities while also allowing myself much needed time “out”.
As a mother you no longer are one person, now you are two. Therefore, if you make a wrong or right choice both you and your child will deal with the outcomes.
When everyone my age was just turning 21, living the wildest moments of their lives (really) and I was at home with my baby, I felt like I was missing out. I wanted to do all of those things, go out and not have to worry about how many drinks I was having, or when it was time to go home... but being home with my baby, this was my reality, and the sooner i accepted it, the easier it would be for me.
As a young mom it is extremely important for you to not suppress your feelings of going out and having fun. It’s perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. When you speak to other young moms about it they will tell you.. girl yes!
What I did realize little by little was that when I did go out, there wasn’t “that” much fun to be had... and really I wasn’t missing out on so much. Instead I missed my baby.
If you do want to go out, go! But, do it.. responsibly.
1. Always have a reliable baby sitter.
2. Never make a decision that will affect how you feel the next morning (because babies wake up early)
3. Never ever drink & drive.
A reliable baby sitter is someone that you trust. A grandmother, a family member, or just someone that you know your baby will be safe with (although you will still call them 100 times) because nobody cares for your child better than you do.
Decisions that affect how you feel the next morning include...but are not limited to.. over drinking, staying out past 3am, and dancing so much all your entire body hurts the next morning. Honestly, who wants to take care of a baby with a hang over? If you’ve been there, or know someone who has, you know that’s pretty high up there on the “never do again” list. No thank you!
Drinking and driving should never be a thing that happens, whether you’re a mother or not.. BUT it is especially that much more of a horrible decision because you have a baby at home that needs his momma alive and well.
One of the biggest fears young moms have is being judged for wanting to go out.. but most importantly they’re judged for wanting to have fun. Isn’t the desire of having fun normal? I think it’s normal, and ALL mothers needs a break once in a while.
Don’t worry about what other people will think, other people don’t know... and honestly other people don’t even matter. They most likely either
1. Have no children. (Most irrelevant opinion)
2. Have children and are miserable because they don’t go out without them. ( stop being so uptight)
3. They had their children older so they think you need to suffer the consequences for having a child so young. (Congrats)
So, they will always judge.
If you’re always home they will say, “oh she let herself go, she’s never going to have a successful relationship.” If you’re out they will say well “where is her baby?”
Newsflash, babies are separated from their mothers everyday. Mothers that work, mothers that study, mothers that work out, mothers that go to the living room while the baby sleeps in his room.. etc.. but apparently if you’re out participating in any F U N without your child it’s suddenly looked down upon.
All in all, what I want to get to is that wanting to go out in your 20s should not be dismissed because you have a child. Find that baby sitter, have your fun, you and your baby will thank you for it later.
After all, nobody wants to be going through a mid life crisis. ;)
Thank you for reading and let me know if you can relate to this personal blog post!
“Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have your child, but what you’ve gained from having one”